Checking The Protowall

Don't ask! I have no idea what I'm doing!

When the first reports made it through the protowall into the U.S. from Bangladesh, nobody believed them. Why would they, when they came across comparatively insane? Hundreds of thousands of people are dying from heat related illness and the only way anyone was hearing about it was through off-line word of mouth?

The claims apparently came in with a small contingent of refugees. Rumor says they had pictures. Real pictures with real film that had to be developed and everything. They had to. The protowall made sure of it.

Everyone knew things were heating up. It wasn't like everyone was staring at the sky and pretending everything was fine. Okay, it was exactly like that, but deep down, they all knew. Eighteen years in a row as the hottest on record. There was a lot the protowall could keep contained, but climate data wasn't one of them. There were too many tracking stations controlled by too many people who couldn't be bought or silenced. Temps were coming through, even if the ones on your daily report were a little skewed. But everything looked fine.

Actually, saying everything looked fine is a bit misleading. The protowall made everything look like everything. Dead internet theory was a great theory, in theory, but it failed to properly account for just how information addicted the average human-being was. Artificial Intelligence software didn't help. An unending supply of bots were making and talking with other bots, proliferating an unending supply of no prompt required content, complete with pictures and videos that seemed to suggest, well . . . everything.

“Enjoying the most beautiful August day in Chittagong!” an influencer with 12 million followers says. She has three different pictures, each with filled beautiful skies, clean beaches with inviting blue water, and smiling faces enjoying their day in the background.

A different influencer with 19 million followers disagrees. “We have to do something, Chittagong needs our help!” His pictures show a caring, brave, yet slightly scared young man surrounded by the rubble of a recently ransacked downtown Chittagong, nearly wiped from the map in a series of recent bombings.

American News Media outlets are reporting on both of them as if they’re real, alongside a few articles that claim thousands have died in Dhaka protests as student involvement reaches new all time high. The stories primarily stick to the increase in the number of students seen with signs. The bots seem to think that’s a good thing. It’s anybody’s guess why. Human’s lost control of the damn thing years ago, but the bots just kept going. 

And that’s how the protowall was born: A giant mess of self-replicating information filled with never-ending responses that both contradict and confirm everything. You wanna deny stuff? Check the protowall. All the support you could ever hope to find against claims like the Earth is round, the holocaust happened, and outer space exists. The protowall also has plenty of bot-reviewed articles from bot-Nature to demonstrate how bot-science confirms there are officially 287 genders, now that eternal cyber child has been accepted by the N.A.G.D.A.G.A, or to point you in the right direction for suing your parents for taking you to church as a child. According to the protowall, you must remember to file the claim under emotional mismanagement of a youth by an unselected parent or guardian.

There are of course needles of truth somewhere amongst these haystacks, but it's hard to parse out what matters when everything looks pretty convincing. The human brain is exceptionally good at a lot of things. It’s process and pattern oriented too, which makes it a pretty good bullshit detector. Unfortunately, it automatically saves material to memory regardless of if it’s true or false, and once the information resurfaces, the brain has a pretty tough time remembering which of the two bins it was shelved in. True or false, it all turns into data for subconscious processing.

It also has a tendency to burn out. Olfactory overload is a real thing. It’s one of the reasons a human can adjust to a terrible smell. Ever walk into someone’s house and it was absolutely rank, but they acted like they couldn’t smell anything? Yeah. That’s a form of encoded resilience, so humanity can continue to push forward in even the most dire of situations. Well, the evolutionary direction of the brain hadn’t predicted the all-encompassing pervasiveness of the virus that is the internet. A plague of information, carried around in the pockets or purse of every man, woman, and child old enough to walk. Can’t walk yet? Don’t worry. Mom’s got you covered. She’ll make sure there’s a way to lodge a tablet somewhere on the cart during the baby's first shopping trip. It’s either that or be forced to engage with you, and let’s face it, she doesn’t have the extra time it would take to spare, nor the patience to put up with your noise. Can you be too young to be introduced to the infection? Check the protowall. It probably has a few answers.

Since it was clearly some kind of addiction or sickness, the smart thing to do was get rid of it. Wanna feel stable and sane? Delete social media accounts, spend less time in front of digital screens and more time out in the analog world. Out in the grand escape of nature. It worked for a while, but it got harder to spend time outdoors with each year that passed. Summers got longer and hotter. Hurricanes started coming earlier and more frequently. Earthquakes and tornadoes showed up in places that never had them. The world outside your door was growing more and more difficult to manage. It’s the truth. Check the protowall.

It also said there was growing political unrest. “Going outside while white? Careful! The black man wants you dead!” claims news outlet F, alongside a map filled with data to represent the most dangerous places in the country to be white. According to them, the map is very accurate, the most accurate map ever, actually. “Data estimated by F news bot compositional data analysis, utilizing all-term correlated information concerning any death experienced by white subjects outside of registered home, plus all crime affiliated by black subjects,” it says, along the bottom of the map, in size 0.3589 font.

News outlet D has their own version. “Snipers now control every water tower in midwest. Interviews with the terrorist organization known as 420hax100%whiteand69%proud show they intend to target anyone belonging to one or more of the following categories: PoC, Lbgtqia2s+(-)=<>[0]*, furries, or anyone wearing a man bun or foxtail anal plug.” To date, 420hax100%whiteand69%proud have claimed responsibility for over 1200 bullets fired from water towers across the nation. Zero hits have been confirmed. (For more information on the increasingly worrisome trend of incel terrorist activity within the midwest, it is recommended you check the protowall.)

Everyone knows there are real people putting real things on the internet. Your average user just doesn’t know how to find and filter it, which makes sense, since it’s been 7 years since the average 10th grader could read at a 3rd grade level. The education system unraveled completely. For a while, politicians pointed fingers across the aisle, trying their best to blame each other for its undoing, but, just like everything else, they too became part of the protowall. The protowall took it all, and flooded everyone with every topic they felt were important. A constant bombardment of arguments concerning the economy, abortion, healthcare, and infrastructure. So those took up more of people’s headspace, and climate took up less and less.

The country just kind of stopped talking about it. Why worry about the climate when there were so many other things to worry about? Everyone was pretty sure there was war happening in The Middle East, Northwest Africa, Southeast Africa, Western Russia, Herzegovina. There were also all of the killings in Mexico, Guatemala, Columbia, Bolivia, Peru, and Brazil, but nobody called those wars, because it wasn’t a war if drugs were involved. The protowall said it was most likely the drugs, the climate, the search for jobs, or the desire to commit genocide against the American public that was driving immigration from the south. There wasn’t enough data to figure out which was most likely, according to the bots at least, but immigration was growing. It was one of the few things everyone could agree on. The protowall couldn’t stop the flood. 

Job-seekers, gang-bangers, drug-dealers, criminals, aliens, murderers, asylees, refugees, rapists, immigrants. Everyone had different names for them, but they were here, and they kept coming, and not just from the south. They came in on planes and ships and boats too small to be called ships. They piled in the back of trucks, jumped fences, and were carried here on flotsam. For a while, a lot of people in the center of the country denied how bad it was. Others screamed loudly to send em all back, while ensuring to take as much advantage as they could from the influx of illegal low-wage labor. But everyone failed to see the real mechanism at work. The real plan unfurling behind the scenes. At least . . . until the Bangladeshis arrived.

They came completely through unreported channels. Nobody knew about them until they were already in South Carolina. Who expected a group of refugees to arrive in South Carolina?

“You don’t know?” they asked. “How can you not know?”

The heat was unbearable. 49 degrees celsius, or about 120 degrees Fahrenheit, and it didn’t let up. The nights were just as bad. It lasted for weeks. Almost a million people died.

“This year?” the crowd of people asked.

“Two years ago.” Complete crop failure. Food and water scarcity led to unspeakable crime. Resource wars broke out in the area. The unrest was always about survival, never political or personal interests. All of North Africa, the Middle East, and South Asia is in disarray. It’s like a scene from a zombie movie. They’re literally bombing children because they don’t have enough food to feed them. Chittagong was wiped out. There were pictures on the protowall. Videos of children bleeding in the street. Clearly they weren’t AI. Didn’t you see them? Didn’t you examine the movement of their eyes and lips? Didn’t you check the composite figure comparisons on their fingers? Didn’t you run the material through seventeen scanners to check for authenticity? Can’t you figure out what’s real and what isn’t? “How could you not know?”

It turned out, some people knew all along. There’s no point in speculating why they decided to do what they did. There’s way too many options and not nearly enough evidence; but if you enjoy wasting your time, you’ll find plenty of rabbit holes on the protowall. Occam’s razor would tell you to follow the money, but that assumes the most powerful people on the planet already were dumb enough to think they could survive an extinction level event. Forget about the why. What they were doing is much easier to demonstrate. 

They blocked out the sun. Give the piggies all the slop they want, so they can eat until they can’t eat anymore. Hide the dead piggies in the slop, they won’t notice, they’ll just keep eating. Eventually they’ll develop a taste for pork – after all, pork is delicious – and then you won’t have to hide the bodies anymore. After all, can’t have them worried about what they’re eating once the rest of the food is gone. That would stop the work, and ain’t nobody got time for that. Ain’t nobody got time to stand around while their employees ask for breaks to tune into their own impending doom, or to do something even more stupid like quit so they can go try to prevent it. 

Can’t have that. 

So they flooded your atmosphere. They blocked out the sun. They initiated the omega protocol. “Protocol Information Overload is a go! I repeat, Information Overload is a go.” Remember that resilience feature? The one with the burnout? Well . . . Apathy is a hell of a drug.

Stop caring about education! Throw away your phones, or you’ll never find any peace.

Stop caring about climate! Quit staring at the sun, Tommy. That’s how you go blind. Do you want to go blind?

Stop caring about politics! Stop sifting through the haystacks, or you’ll grow a little bit more angry and neurotic with each passing day, unavoidably fighting with your relatives and taking things out on your close friends and loved ones.

What are you supposed to do about it anyway? 

Just. Stop. Caring.

Anyway, according to the protowall, this year is looking like a grrreeeaaat year to be an American. American Football just announced they were moving to a 27 game season, with games being played on every day of the week, except Friday of course (of course). For a measly $1895, you can get the Complete American Football Games of the Day Total Package^tm, sponsored by: The Bible, which gives you access to every game, including the full lineup of Sunday games running right from 8am to 8pm. For all the libtards who don’t work hard enough, invest smart, or manage their money well enough to buy the CAFGOTDTP^tm, each game can be seen, streamed live on one of the 13 primary streaming services that will be providing rotating blocks of coverage. Please check the protowall for a general idea of where and when to possibly catch your favorite teams square off.

Stop caring about your increasingly overwhelming existential crisis. Care about American Football instead! Weren’t you going to die anyway? Remember, when you purchase the CAFGOTDTP^tm, you aren’t missing church, you’re supporting The Bible. (Brought to you in part by funding provided by: The Bible. “Go To Heaven.”)

The climate models were wrong anyway. They failed to properly predict just how fast the exponential rise in global temperature would take effect. Climate scientists had expected the 1.5 degree celsius tipping point to be passed in the early 2030s, which would then lead to a cascade of catastrophic events over the next sixty to eighty years. It was looking like rough times for the people of the early 2100s. They were almost right about the first part. The planet passed the 1.5 mark in 2029. They now knew they had been very wrong about the second part. It’s now looking like rough times for the people of  . . . next year.

The only question left to ask is: Is it too late to fix it? 
Check the protowall.

Written by: Bot R. Notabot for distribution solely through News Outlet R. 

As always, any opinion, fact, political position, religious idealogy, prophecy, threat against humanity, or ‘data’, belongs solely to the author, Bot R. Notabot, and is not a representation of, nor endorsed by, the Board of NotBots at News Outlet R. News Outlet R is a strictly neutral outlet meant for news media within the entertainment news media market and does not condone the use of, nor the purposeful avoidance of, violence, hate speech, or specific words used to describe sensitive and overly sensitive categories such as: gender, race, socio-economic status, political affiliation, nationalist agenda, sexual preference, sexual positional preference, sexual identity, beer or bourbon of choice, or, those who willingly identify as people who listen to Kid Rock or Tom Macdonald.

#Jurnalism
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#Existentialcrisis 
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#WhoamIandwhyamIhere?
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Warning: Media illiteracy is not a joke. We at News Outlet R definitely believe that all people interested in checking the protowall should first take the recommended Media Literacy and AI Fraud Detection classes, and promise we are not only including this because we have been legally mandated to do so. Available times for the Media Literacy and AI Fraud Detection classes can be found on the protowall. The protowall should not be accessed by children under the age of 13 weeks and will not be held responsible for any mental decline seen in children who fail to adhere to this warning. 

For more information on anything, check the protowall.